The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam.. we're stoning her in the morning.

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in but I could only use it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot..

Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ?
17% said yes;
11% said No;
72% said, "I not understanding question please."

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.

***

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." ~Ernest Hemmingway
Funny drinking pictures, fire eater, funny fire eater pictures, funny drunks. drunk pictures, funny drunk pictures, Funny drinking pictures, fire eater, funny fire eater pictures, funny drunks.
Buckaroos Funny Pictures
George