"If you never want to see a man again say, 'I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children'. They leave skid marks." ~Rita Rudner
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When I woke this morning my girlfriend asked, "Did you sleep good?"
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes".~Steven Wright
His Mama told him someday your name will be in lights..
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day." ~George Carlin
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W.C. Fields is alive and drunk in Oakland.
THAT'S! Why I won't do 2 shows a night babe.. I won't do it.