A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.
He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"
The driver asks, "You buyin'?"

***
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
Slipped into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Not wired to code.
A photographic memory, yeah sure - but the lens cover is still on.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.
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