Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute emerged, but tangled, and as he plummeted towards earth like a missle, he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the reserve chute, and nothing. He prayed to his God as he whistled down now at sonic speed and when he looked to the ground below, to his amazement, a woman was coming up with equal velocity.
"Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shouted to her, as they passed by.
"No." the reply faded upward, "You know anything about Coleman stoves?"