These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives.
Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
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