"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called 'Mr. Personality.' Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her what's the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer."
Tina Fey, on SNL Weekend Update
"Monica Lewinsky has returned to network TV. ... I remember years ago she said she wanted her life back. Then I guess she got it back and said 'Well, this sucks.' ... She's hosting a show called 'Mr. Personality' because apparently the new Fox show 'Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs,' isn't ready." —Jon Stewart
"Fox network has hired Monica Lewinsky to be the host of a new reality show.. In this time of crisis wouldn't Monica be much more help overseas entertaining our troops?" —Jay Leno
"The military said we'll be able to confirm Saddam is dead with DNA testing. Apparently we have a sample of his DNA. So Monica Lewinsky is working for the CIA?" —Jay Leno
"Monica Lewinsky was on Larry King Live tonight. Monica really liked Larry King. Actually, she likes any guy with a desk." —David Letterman
"You know who was at the Vanity Fair (Academy Awards) party? Monica Lewinsky. She was sitting right next to me. I was at table 14; she was under table 12." —Jay Leno
"Celebrity birthdays, today Monica Lewinsky is 28. It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office." —David Letterman