Homer Simpson's Greatest Quotes
•'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?
•Operator! Give me the number for 911!
•Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
•Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds
of useful things like...love!
•Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
•Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding,
'You're making a scene.'
•Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
•You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
•[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
•What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
•Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
•I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I
spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
•Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
•I want to share something with you: The three little sentences
that will get you through life.
Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!
Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
•Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent.
14% of people know that.
•Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and
studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might
be extracted for our personal use.
•How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every
time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
•Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
•If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
•I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
•But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
•Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.