How to Texas Speak 101
He's all hat and no cattle. – this is probably pretty obvious,
but it is someone that likes to put on a good front or appearance
but really has no credentials, real world skills or any knowledge
on whatever he is spouting off about. In other areas this individual
is the know it all, blowhard or the poser.
Toad choker – this is also referred to as a frog strangler or a turd
floater, and means a heavy torrential downpour. Since most of
Texas is pretty flat, heavy rains pose a true flash flooding hazard
as well as lots of issues with closed roads.
Y'all – y'all, which is often pronounced yaaaaaallllllllll, is a way of
referring to at least one other person. In general if you are talking
to more than a handful of people the correct southern and Texas
address would be "all y'all". This is sometimes a bit confusing at times
but just go with the flow.
Do wut? – this is the standard response if you weren't paying attention or didn't hear what the speaker said for some reason. In other cultures the way this is often expressed is "excuse me" or "pardon me" or even "could you please repeat that?" Sometimes this phrase is expanded to "Do wut now?"
Greeze and Earl – despite what you might think, these are actually components to your car. Greeze, otherwise known as grease, and earl or oil, often cause stains on your hands or clothes. These stains are considered to be greezy, and are really problematic in hot weather. Of course you also have to constantly keep checking the pressure in your tiyures (tires) because the hot temperatures cause problems there as well.
Uh huh – when you say "thank you" often you were hear the response "uh huh". This should be interpreted in this situation as your welcome. It can also be a sign of agreement with the last statement made.
Bowed up – when someone is really angry and is taking on an aggressive body stance, they are said to be all bowed up. Kids that are talking back to their parents will often be told not to get all bowed up or they will get a "whipping".
Jaw Jackin – just talking to hear yourself or talking smack to someone. Jaw jacking is often combined with getting bowed up.
Hitched but not churched – this is a way of saying that a couple is living together without being married. In the Bible belt this is still a taboo, and there are many sayings that relate to heathens, sin and immoral behavior.
Broke bad – basically this refers to anyone that seems to come from a good family but he or she has gone over to the dark side. It can refer to horses that are incorrectly "broke" or trained, resulting in mean and unfriendly animals but in Texas it typically refers to people.
Chunk – Ok, this one is really weird. If you are throwing something a short distance they say they are chunking it. Don't know why Texans don't say chucking it like the rest of the world but there ya go!
Neighbor – neighbors are the people in your community, someone you talked to once at the Dairy Queen that lives up (or down) the road, someone you are distantly related to through marriage or someone that lives in the same county as you do. It really doesn't have anything with physical address locations and can be really misleading.
Coke – anything that is called soda or pop anywhere else is called Coke in Texas. For example, Coke can be Pepsi, Sprite, Dr. Pepper or almost anything else that fizzes and comes in a can or bottle.
Tea – tea is always iced tea and is always sweet iced tea unless you specifically ask for unsweetened. If you have never had southern
sweet tea you may want to try a small taste before ordering a whole glass. Let's just say it is sort of like drinking icing!
Not plum but pert near – this is a highly descriptive and phonetic way to say everything isn't exactly perfect but it is close enough to be
workable. If someone asks you how you are doing you can always answer "fair to midlin", which is the equivalent of not plum but pert near!
Fix'in – this is the ultimate in Texan speak. Fix'in, which is not said fixing but is sometimes pronounced as "fiddin", is a way to indicate
that at some yet to be determined time some action is going to be taken. An example of this would be "I'm fix'in to go to the store".
Notice this doesn't indicate when and can be also used to indicate you are thinking about possibility doing something sometime.