W.C. Fields Quotes
*Twas a woman that drove me to drink... never did get around to thankin' her.
*Asked how he liked children W.C. replied "Well done."
*I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday
*(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:)
"Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."
*All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
*Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising.
It was the only exercise I got.
*Charlie McCarthy: "Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed
two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?"
WC: "He'd think I was a sissy."
*Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant
than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing
only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
*"Fields reloading!" (Fields' retort from his dressing room after a director
had shouted, "Camera reloading!")
*George, my dear friend, your source is impeccable. It's quite true,
I'm not drinking anymore. However, I'm not drinking any less either.
*Hangman: "Have you any last wish?" WC: "Yes, I'd like to see Paris before I die."
(pause) "Philadelphia will do."
*How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened
to stumble across a case of bourbon--and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
*Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
*I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
*I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful.
It contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments..
*On his tombstone: "I'd rather be here than Philadelphia."