“Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high.
They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.” ~Stephen Colbert
"Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. ~Professor Irwin Corey
"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!" ~Leo Durocher
"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~Babe Ruth
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." ~Ernest Hemingway
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~Paul Hornung
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~H.L. Mencken
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~Benjamin Franklin
"120 million of us place the big bang 2,500 years after the Babylonians and Sumerians learned to brew beer." ~Sam Harris
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~Dave Barry
“Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.” ~Ray Bradbury
“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.” ~Frank Zappa
"Was a woman that drove me to drink. Never did get around to thanking her." ~W.C. Fields
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." ~Homer Simpson
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.” ~ Czech Proverb
“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days.” ~Egyptian Proverb
“I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.” ~Greek Proverb
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