Memorable Quotes from
"Everybody Loves Raymond"
Ray Barone: Men don't like to cuddle. We only like it if it leads to... you know... lower cuddling.
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[Raymond and Debra are planning their wedding in a flashback]
Ray Barone: You're already planning the wedding?
Debra Barone: I've been planning it since I was 12.
Ray Barone: But you didn't meet me until you were 22.
Debra Barone: Well, you're the last piece of the puzzle.
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Marie Barone: I don't lose things, Frank. I'm organized.
Frank Barone: Not organized, insane!
She's got a shoebox labeled pieces of string too small to use.
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Robert Barone: I could of been a pretty good hockey player. I was big, I had the toughness,
good hand-eye coordination.
Ray Barone: Yeah, but eventually you would've had to let go of the side.
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Ray Barone: All right Ally, you have to do what Mommy says.
Ally Barone: Why?
Ray Barone: 'Cause I do.
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Ray Barone: It's like getting into a hot bath. You know, at first, you don't think you can take it.
But then, you know, once you get all your luggage in it's not that bad.
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Ray Barone: I can't believe you're still living with them. If it was me I'd be cleaning off
my fingerprints and rehearsing my 9-1-1 call.
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Ray Barone: When I was a teenager I wanted to write the Great American novel. But then I realized
that I didn't even want to read the Great American Novel.
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Marie Barone: Well I think it's sad when people start having surgery to make themselves bigger.
Frank Barone: Marie did it the natural way. Pound cake!
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Marie Barone: Your father, his idea of culture is an undershirt with sleeves.
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Bernie: Will you look at her? Oh, my god. If I wasn't married, you know what I'd do?
Ray Barone: Wear the same underwear every day?
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Debra Barone: We have to invite your parents. It's like when the Russians boycotted the Olympics. It diminished the whole event.
Ray Barone: Yeah, but you're forgetting one thing. When the Russians boycotted, we won everything.
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Debra Barone: Dr. Laura thought I was boring.
Ray Barone: You're not boring, you're normal. Living in my house, I prayed for normal. Then, I had to fall asleep to the sound of my brother naming his toes. There was 'Fat Tony', 'Danny the Weasel' and 'Billy Stretch and Tastes Bad'.
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Frank Barone: What if I wanted to have more kids?
Ray Barone: If God hasn't stopped you, the government will.
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[Ray has hurt his back and is in bed with Debra]
Ray Barone: I guess I am going to be out of commission for a while.
Debra Barone: I wouldn't worry - it's not like Van Gogh has lost his paint brush.
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[after Raymond sees Deborah crying all alone]
Raymond: Do you cry because I'm stupid?
Deborah: No, I eat ice cream because you are stupid.
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