Pop-ups: We don't need no stinkin' pop-ups.
Smoking: Fire up fluffy, this ain't a smoke-free environment. But adhere anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields..
"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Membership fees: 1/4 of the world lives on less than $200 a year.
If compelled, visit our sponsors and drop a dime.
I.D.: Yes, you'll probably need one at the liquor store.
Child Safety: "Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth." Steve Allen
Sexual Discrimination: It's your mouth, haul hot coal in it if you want to.
Drinking: Lightning strikes the earth 100 times every second, knock yourself out. On the other hand, if you place a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
Religion: Washington, D.C. has the highest per capita viewership of T.V. evangelists... 'nuff said.
Nudity: If "Barbie" were life-sized, her measurements would be 39-23-33... and we all up in that dog.
Complaints: Call yomama.