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Letterman's Top Ten Rafael Palmeiro Excuses for Giving Congress False Testimony about Using Steriods
10. "Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it"
9. There wasn't a Starbucks around and I needed a quick pick-me up"
8. "I enjoy the fresh minty flavor"
7. "Uhh, I lost it in the sun?"
6. "Somebody must've slipped something into my Viagra"
5. "Steroids illegal?! Since when?"
4. "Heard steroids give your mustache a glossy coat"
3. "Memory loss from steroid use made me forget I was on steroids"
2. " 'Roids rule, dude!"
1. "How am I supposed to keep track of every single thing I stick up my ass?"