Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her and some of the men actually join in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstrectched.

"Stop!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "Stop! Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him.

Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Mad Malcolm stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand.

"Oh, no", said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!!"